Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
