"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
