it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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