we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize