I don't remember. Are we still dating?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
