This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
