Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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