His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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