He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
