if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
