I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
