is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
