I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
