we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
