Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
