i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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