If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
