even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
