I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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