Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
