do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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