So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
