This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
