You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
