how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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