Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
