Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Can I color on your dick again?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
