Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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