Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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