I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
