i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
