Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
