Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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