you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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