You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
