What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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