She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
