Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
