well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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