Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
