??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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