you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
