all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just pee around me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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