I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
