im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You smell like stripper and shame
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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