I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
