i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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