in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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