hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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