I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
