yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
