I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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