I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
