Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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