Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
