Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
